Do you still love me
by Kd2t2
Summary: A few nights after James and Lily are forced in to hiding Lily questions whether or not James still loves her.
1. Chapter 1

Lily and James Potter lay on the opposite side of the bed both in deep thought. Lily sobbed silently into her pillow. As James lay in bed wanting to comfort his wife but not knowing what to say wishing he knew how he could make everything just go away. As he laid there he thought about the ups and downs of the last few weeks. First, he thought of the undeniable happiness that he had felt just a few short weeks ago when Lily had told him that they were going to have a baby. He was so excited ever since the death of both his and Lily's parents this was the only family that either of them really had left except for Petunia and since she barely acknowledge their existence it hardly seemed fitting to include her. Then just two nights ago Dumbledore told them something that changed everything all of their excitement turned to worry and fear that they would die before they even got to see this precious gift. James tried to tell Dumbledore that he wouldn't hide he would fight but when he saw the tears in Lily's eyes as he spoke and he knew that nothing was more important to him then her right now and promised he would hide if only to protect her. As James lay there thinking about the last few weeks Lily spoke up "James, do you still love me?"

James could hardly believe the words coming from her mouth. He turned to look at her the girl who he had spent three years trying to get to notice him. The women who he would do anything for even die if that's what was needed for Lily and this child to be kept alive. He touched her cheek that was moist from tears as he swept her hair out of her eyes. It was at that moment that James realized that for all of his worrying the fact that he had barely spoken to her since the moment they were told about the prophecy had made Lily even more scared then him. He looked at the tears in her eyes and replied "of course I still love you."

He then placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Lily answered that with a much hungrier kiss. James groaned how he had missed this it had been weeks since Lily had kissed him with so much passion. James answered back by opening up his mouth and his tongue began to search Lily's mouth playing carefully with her tonnage. His mind began to wander as he tried to remember the last time they had done this. He then pulled back thinking about the baby and the last time that he touched Lily's breasts she acted as though it hurt. James stopped and looked at Lily she whispered "Don't stop James."

James continued stopping only a few times as he struggled to remove some of her clothes. He quickly found a rhythm climaxing before it seemed he had hardly begun. He turned to Lily who looked up at him and smiled as climbed back into the cover to snuggle up against his wife holding on to her knowing that he never wanted to let go and promising that he never again would he ever let her doubt that he loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning James woke up as the sun fell gently over the bed he was laying in. He looked over at the beautiful women lying next to him in bed. He smiled over at her and thought maybe we can start the morning off with quick shag. He began to slowly caresses Lily woke up and smiled as she turned to kiss her husband after a small kiss she turned to continue him feeling her body gently with his hands. Just as James turned to kiss her Lily suddenly blotted out bed and rushed into the bathroom where she began to throw up into the toilet. James called out to her, "is there something I do for you Lily?'

"No, I'll feel better after I am done throwing up."

A few minutes later James heard the shower turn on just as thought he might get up and join her James heard someone calling out "Prongs, are you decent?" James smiled he knew that voice could only mean one person Sirius Black. James then reached into the nightstand and pulled out a mirror. "As decent as I will ever be."

"Good "said Sirius "I wouldn't want to apparate over and have you and Lily do anything in appropriate."

James laughed it wasn't so long ago that very thing had happened. He thought back to that day that Sirius swore had scared him for life.

_Sirius Black was bored it had been two weeks since Prongs had gotten married and left on a Honeymoon. There hadn't been any major attacks by Lord __Voldermort__ and his followers for a few days and the order was just trying to put together plans to help protect the ministry and Hogwarts from attacks. Peter seemed to always be at work at the ministry and Mooney just wasn't very much fun to hang with always studying hoping that he would soon be able to find someone willing to hire him. Sirius couldn't wait for James to come back. He glanced at the calendar and realized that James and Lily were back today. He decided that he would __apparate__ over to their new house and surprise James and Lily Hell he might even throw them a surprise party he could __floo__Remus__ and Peter and some of Lily's friends to come over. __Sirius figured that he __apporiate__ over to the Potter's and assess the situation for further planning. Sirius __apparated__ directly into the house since no one should be home. He went into the kitchen to see there was anything to eat and figured if there was he would fix himself something for now and save the rest for later. Sirius went into the kitchen opened up a bottle of __butterbeer__ and began to make a sandwich for himself. Just as he finished putting the pickles on his pickle and peanut butter sandwich he thought he would try since that was about the only things in the house. He started to take a bit when he heard a rattling noise up stairs. Sirius shrugged it off he was sure it was nothing but he thought he better take a quick look around the house before he enjoyed his meal. Sirius went out into the small sitting room were again he heard some more rattling noisy there was defiantly something up stairs. He started to walk up the stairs were he heard some more rattling and then some moaning. He pulled out his wand as he wondered what in world could make that noise. Sirius stopped and sniffed smelling something that seemed familiar but he couldn't place yet. Sirius stopped at the door wondering what was in there. He opened the door quickly with his wand pointing out as he yelled," __Revelo__" Sirius then looked up to see Lily and James both naked on their bed James mouth on top of Lily's breasts. Lily screamed as noticed the intruder that entered the room as she moved quickly to put a blanket on top her and James. James stopped what he was doing and looked up Sirius. Sirius simply looked at the two and replied "Welcome Home." As he quickly __dissapate__ and left the spot where he was standing __apporating__ home. Deciding right then it was always better to check before ever just popping over to the Potter's home again._

James decided that it was better to get up and put on something fitting rather then joining Lily in shower. He better warn Lily that Sirius was on his way to their house before she made the mistake of coming down stairs in something less fitting not that he would mind but he didn't want to embarrass Lily anymore he knew that she was feeling anything but sexy right now. He went into the bathroom and knocked on the shower door "Yes, dear." said Lily

James replied "Sirius is on his way I am sure that he thinks that he is going to get a free meal off of us."

Lily simply said "That's fine but can you go down and get something started because I going to be here a while because this shower feels really good."

Making James wish even more that he could jump in there with her and hope that she was feeling much the same way as last night so he could once again make love to her but alas Sirius would be here any second and he didn't want to leave him waiting because he might worry that something was wrong again after all they were among the top targets of Voldermorts hit list.

James went down stairs and started to get breakfast ready. He had just gotten the bacon on when he heard a distinct pop noise of someone apporating into the living room. "Morning Lily, something smells just divine."

Just then he heard laughing on the stairs "Thanks Sirius but it's not me you need to butter up its James."

Sirius replied well "Prongs, it looks like someone has you whipped."

"Oh, shut up Padfoot just because you have never had relationship last more than a week doesn't mean that some people don't have more emotional capacity then a teaspoon."

Sirius just smiled and laughed" At least I don't have to be completely whipped to get some action."

To Lily piped up and said "How many rounds of firewhiskey does it take get the girl to go home with you?"

Sirius just laughed you know "Lily I have many more charms that don't require firewhiskey for a girl to notice me and if you weren't so stuck on that bloke I just might take you home myself. You know this new motherly glow you're sporting makes you look awfully sexy."

To that James came out of the kitchen to give Sirius a long hard stare. Lily just smiled and winked "Thanks Sirius but I don't think that I'll be leaving that crazy bloke in here for awhile he's pretty charming himself and I think he'll do just fine"

Lily then walked into the kitchen and kissed James on the lips. Sirius then smiled and said "Too much snogging I don't want to watch that."

James said "I'll snog my wife anytime I want with or without your permission."

Lily then went into the kitchen and started to finish breakfast for everyone.

James and Sirius sat down on the couch and Sirius said "So what's up today you seem like you two are in much better spirits then you have been the last few days its been like walking on eggshells anytime I have come to visit. Did Dumbledore give you more information? Are you guys going to get come out of hiding?"

James shook his head and said "No Lily and I just talked and decide that we can make this whole hiding thing work. After all what the order needs is the most important thing."

Just then Lily came back into the room with some glasses of pumpkin juice. Sirius looked at the way his friend watched his wife walk across the room and thought "I bet talking was the only thing that they did last night but he quickly moved that thought to the back of his mind as it raced to unearth memories of James and Lily that he would just a soon forget.

"So James what are we going today?"

"Well I thought that we could sneak into Diagon Alley."

Sirius looked baffled "Has Dumbledore lifted the absolute ban on you leaving the house?"

James looked at his friend "Of course not but when as that stopped me before" he said with a smile on his face as he pulled out a long silvery coat.

A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter please read and review I don't really know where I am going with this story so it might take me a while to post.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sirius looked at James and said, "What are you going to tell you Lily?"

"I'll think of something." Said James with a great big grin

"Where are we going?" smiled back Sirius who was always up for adventure especially if it might result in him getting shagged.

"I was thinking about a trip to Diagon Alley." Said James with a grin

"Wouldn't it be better to go into muggle London?" Said Sirius thinking back to the times he had been the victim of Lily's hexes.

"Where is the risk in that?" said James smirking slightly.

"What you want to go to Diagon Alley for anyway?"

James smiled brightly "to get something for Lily."

Sirius rolled his eyes. It was just like James to risk everything for Lily but then again the whole reason that they were in hiding was to protect Lily. It seemed to Sirius that this seemed a bit irrational but then again when was James ever rational when it came to Lily. Sirius looked at James and said "off to Diagon Alley."

Sirius and James apparated on to Diagon alley and began the search for the perfect gift for Lily. James who was carefully hidden under the cloak did his best to direct Sirius toward the prefect gift. After several hours Sirius whispered carefully to his friend when no one was looking you're worse then shopping with a girl it least by now they would have bought something. Why are being so picky about this present it's not like it's her birthday, valentines, your anniversary or any other time that I know of that should matter.

James looked down at the ground and replied because Lily thinks that I don't love her anymore because I have hardly spoken to her for the last few days.

Sirius just looked as his friend now he understood why James was so keen on this adventure if there was one thing James would go to the ends of the earth for it was to show Lily that he really did love her. Sirius mind wandered to all the ridiculous stunts James used to pull just to try to capture Lily's attention. Sirius had figured that all of this nonsense would stop once James did everything that Lily asked of him and finally agreed to marry him but obviously not.

Sirius finally said "Fine but can we a least stop shopping to get food."

James just nodded as the two of them head back into the Leaky Caldron to grab a bit to eat.

Sirius ordered for both of them and then secretly handed James his food when no one was looking. He thought he noticed the one-eyed within the booth next to them eyeing them carefully when one plate mysteriously disappeared and then reappear empty later. She just eyed Sirius suspiciously but just seemed to shake her head because after all in place like the Leaky Caldron people knew better then to ask very many questions. The two friends ate in relative silence as to not attract attention because in these days you never knew who might be a death eater. Sirius and James then went back to shopping finally after what seemed like the about the gazillions store James poked his friend in the side and pointed out a necklace to Sirius that's it perfect. Sirius picked it up and after counting out the correct amount of Galleons to the cashier he pocketed the necklace and left the store.

Sirius pulled out his pocket watch and looked at James and whispered "how about a pint."

James looked at his friend and sighed "Alright as long it's only one because I don't want to get Lily angry."

Sirius just rolled his eyes he hoped that he would never become the one woman mess that James was.

Sirius went into the bar and ordered two firewhiskeys and handed one off to James

After one round James looked at Sirius and said we need to get go going mate.

Sirius just looked over at James and laughed "what happened to you mate you're as crazy as a house elf always worrying about pleasing your master."

Sirius then ordered up another round for him and James. Before Sirius knew it a couple of hours had past and he wasn't sure but he thought that James and downed a few more pints then him. Sirius looked over at James and said "I guess I better get you home before Lily kills me."

Sirius took James and flooed him back to his and Lily's house. When James and Sirius arrived back they found a very angry Lily at home. "James Potter where in the Hell have you been? You could have been killed. Don't you care anything about me?"

A very drunk James looked at Lily and said "how dare you accuse me of not caring the only reason I would ever agree to go into hiding was because of you and it's for a reason you didn't even give me a choice in."

"No choice I don't remember you complain a few months ago. Do you think that being in hiding is easy for me I am not allowed contact with anyone none of my close friends are in the Order I can't even talk to them or tell them where I am? The only person I am allowed to talk besides your friends is Petunia and she doesn't even acknowledge I exist."

Lily burst into tears as she frantically began to look for her wand. Sirius looked at Lily and knew that he better get James out of there before he ended up in St. Mungo's.


	4. Chapter 4

Lily's eyes were now filled with tears how could James be so cruel. Couldn't he understand that going into hiding was hard on her too? She was so lonely most of her friends had stopped talking to her after school. They had gone on to jobs at the ministry and were still busy with dating and figuring out what they wanted out of life. Where as she and James had chosen to get married and join the Order of Phoenix despite the fact that both had other opportunities come their way. Lily had always thought that they had made the right choice but how could James be talked into such foolishness by Sirius. Couldn't he understand that she was at home worried to death that they had been attacked by some death eaters or just as bad they were being followed so that Lord Voldermort would know the location of where Lily was at. Not that she afraid for herself but rather the life of her unborn baby. Why someone would want to harm a baby was beyond her. She still was so unsure about this whole situation. This wasn't something she ever thought would come her way going into hiding when they could be out fighting this evil but now she had to follow Dumlbedore's orders. How come James couldn't understand that she was so scared? She needed him so much right now and he was acting like the biggest arse. Lily needed to talk to someone and there was only one person left to talk. She looked over at the muggle phone in the corner of the house. She glanced at the clock it was 10 o'clock not to late to call she just hoped she would get Tuney and not Vernon. She stopped crying just enough to dial the number. She waited for someone one the other end to pick up. She heard a shrill voice on the other end "Hello".

"Tuney," said Lily "it's me please don't hang up. I need to talk to someone."

"What wrong?" Said Tuney in a sharp shrill voice that was full of I told you so. "Did that Oaf do something to you? I always told you he was known good. No job. No prospects. He's probably out getting drunk and left you for some other women."

Lily was now back to being angry no matter how mad she was at James how dare Tuney insult James like that. She tried to shake off the anger."It's not that, "said Lily with her voice began to shake not knowing what to say. How could she explain all of this to Tuney who tried hard to ignore her world? "I'm afraid I'm going to die."She then began to sob uncontrollably.

"What as that good for nothing husband of yours threaten you? I told you it would come to this. Running off to get married like you did. Don't ever call here again unless you have given up this foolishness." Lily then heard a click on the other end. Lily held on to the phone receiver just sobbing. She really was all alone James was being a jerk. Sirius wasn't helping the situation with his immaturity. Her own sister thought she was crazy and wanted nothing to do with her. Lily walked back upstairs now full understanding that she was all alone in this mess. No one was going to help her now. She cried herself to sleep giving herself a new resolve that she would find away through this mess. If this baby's life was so important she would do anything in her power to make sure that this baby would survive. Just as sleep nearly overcame her entire body she whispered to herself . "I love you baby." That vary moment she felt a small movement inside almost like a butterfly. She wondered if she had just felt the baby move for the first time. That small feeling made of this sacrifice seems real she smiled knowing that she could make this whole situation work even if James wasn't going to be there.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer not J.K Rowling just writing for fun

Chapter 5

James woke up the next morning with a bad crick in his neck and bad headache. He looked around the room he was now sitting in and blinked his head must be hurting worse then he thought because he was seeing things that really weren't there everything looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't quite place it. This room looked nothing like any rooms in his house. He then began to look around the room blinking even more and began to call out for Lily. He heard a bark like laugh coming from a different room. He then heard a voice call out "I'm not her and if you're hoping that I am you must be even more wasted then I thought. "

James looked around the room and began to remember the day before. He head was pounding so loudly that he need something to calm it down before he could even began to remember what happened yesterday. He began to look every where for a hangover potion because he knew if there was one thing Sirius was bound to have in his house it was a hangover potion. James began to look through the cabinets for the potion he was looking for. He found some and began to sip remembering another reason he didn't like to get pissed drunk very often this stuff tasted like shit. He's mind was still reeling with exactly what had happened the day before to get him kicked out the house. He remembered going to Diagon Alley with Sirius but surely the necklace he had bought would have made up for Lily's anger over him sneaking out even though they were supposed to be in hiding. What else had happened? Then he remembered going with Sirius to the pup to get a drink but then after that his mind went a little hazy. He sat back down on the couch trying to figure out exactly what had happened. He remembered going into the pup with Sirius and telling him only one drink and remembered drinking some more firewhiskey as he watched Sirius flirt with a pretty girl at the other end of the bar. He remembered sitting there drinking as he waited for Sirius to come back after he left with the girl for a quick snogging session Sirius probably couldn't even remember the girls name today. Especially since he seemed not remember anything that had happened the night before. As he sat there drinking his potion he tried so hard to remember exactly what happened after Sirius got back that had landed him here at Sirius flat instead of back home with his beautiful wife. Sirius walked out of the bedroom and looked hard his friend who seemed to be in deep concentration. He began to shake his head at his best friend hoping that James didn't remember what he had said to Lily. James looked up at his friend at said "So mate what did I do to end up here."

Sirius started to laugh "Well mate I am not sure you want to know because it sure as hell wasn't pretty."

James said "you better tell me what I said to her so I figure how to get out of this dog house that I am in."

Sirius said "For once I am glad not to be in your shoes James. I am glad to single and not stuck with my best mate because I insulted my very pregnant wife who is known for her ability to deliver pretty mean hexes."

James looked at Sirius knowing he must have said something pretty bad if Lily had kicked him out like this he really wanted to know what exactly he had said to Lily."Lay it on me mate I need to figure out to get myself out of the mess I've made."

Sirius looked at James and said "I still can't believe what you said to her I still don't know if you want to know what you said to her. Maybe it would be better if you could tell her you were under the influence of a confundus charm rather then drunk." James shook his head he knew that Lily was far to smart to fall for that. Sirius looked at James and knew that it was probably better to just tell him what he had said. "She accused you of not caring and you told her that wasn't true and she should know better because you agreed to go into hiding." So far James thought it wasn't so bad all of that was true. Sirius continued with his story "you then went on to tell her that you didn't want to have a baby and she gave you no choice in the matter."

James now understood why Lily had kicked him out hell if had been her he would have kicked him out too. James began to wonder if what he said was true but deep down part of him knew that what he said was true. It wasn't that he didn't want a family with Lily after all being with Lily had been his main goal since he was fourteen. It was just that he was so unsure about having a baby he had been an only child and didn't have any cousins or anyone even close to him in age in his family that he knew of. He didn't know anything about a baby he didn't know how change a nappy, feed a baby, anything. Part of him did feel like Lily had made the decision to have a baby without even talking to him first. They had only been married a few months and hadn't really talked too much about starting a family and then he had been injured by Death Eaters out in the field and seemed like he was just ready to go back out and help the Order of the Phoenix fight Voldermort when Lily told him she was pregnant. At first he had been excited been then the reality of it hit he was nineteen years old he didn't know anything about babies. He was too young to immature and since his parents death two years earlier he was all alone no one to ask advice to about this topic his friends were clueless. Then just after the reality of everything set and they announced to everyone that they were going to have a baby Dumbledore came to them and told them that they had go into hiding something a prophecy that had been made. Dumbledore was afraid that the Potters would be attacked and killed because of when Lily was due. As if having a baby nineteen wasn't enough of burden this prophecy had made him even more worried and scared. He had wished at times that maybe Lily would have talked to him before she decided that it was time to have a baby. James also knew that his own behavior yesterday all be good intended didn't make the situation any better. The next question was how in the world he could fix the mess he was now in with his wife.

A/N I hope you liked this chapter please read and review


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I am not J.k. Rowling just writing for fun

James looked at Sirius and thought about asking him for advice but James the only relationship advice Sirius was very good was how not to get caught cheating and those plans usually backfired on him. James knew the best thing he could do was go home and beg Lily to talk to him he wouldn't even be afraid of the curses she might throw at him because he knew that if she did anything to bad she would end up feeling guilty later. James said Farwell to his friend and flooed home to face what ever problems were there waiting for him because he knew that he created this mess he would have to be the one to clean up after it.

When he arrived back at his house he was surprised to discover how quite it was Lily usually liked to get up early. For a minute he was worried that maybe Lily was right and the death eaters had followed him and Sirius home and Lily now lay dead or kidnapped somewhere and it was entirely his fault for being so conceited. James walked up stairs to their bedroom and checked to find Lily still asleep on the bed. He could tell she had been crying because of how red and puffy her eyes were. She probably had been up most of the night and he knew that it was he was to blame for the fact that she was hurting so bad.

James thought maybe the best thing he could do is go down to the bakery down in town and pick up some of the rolls she liked to eat so well and grab some of the tea that had been helping her stomach feel better. He apparated into town and began to look for the things he knew Lily liked to eat. He quickly found the bread and the tea paid for them quickly so he could return home to Lily hoping that this small gesture would help.

Lily woke up to smell her favorite foods in the air. She knew James was home and was going to try to make things up with her. Lily smiled despite the fact that she was still mad at James she knew that she couldn't stay mad at him forever and after last night she was almost more mad at Petunia then she was James although she was still mad at him at least James had to be drunk to say hurtful things Petunia knew exactly what she was saying to Lily and she was trying to hurt to her. She knew that James would never try to hurt her. Just as Lily thought maybe she would be willing to forgive James at least enough for some breakfast felt a sudden rush coming up her throat. She ran to the bathroom making it just in time to reach the toilet before she finished vomiting. This made her favorite things sound rather unappealing this morning. Lily left the loo to find breakfast waiting on bed for her kept warm by a heating charm but it no longer or sounded good. Lily just brushed aside the food left for her by James and went downstairs to look for something to eat. James watched as Lily left the room hidden safely under his cloak. His heart sank a little he knew that he must have really messed up bad if Lily barely looked at his tray of food he had gone to get her this morning. She seemed so unmoved by his gesture usually this would at least be a place that could at least start an apology. What could James do to get Lily to talk to him? As he sat there think of what he could do he heard a knock at the door. James walked down the stairs to answer the door but then remembered Lily didn't really know where he was at or if he was still home. He heard Lily ask who it was the voice on the other end answered Remus. He then heard Lily ask Remus what his animagus was and when he replied I have none because I am a werewolf. Remus then asked Lily what her favorite book was. When Lily replied _Pride and Prejudice._ Lily then opened the door and hugged their old friend. Remus who looked so tattered and worn it made James worried about where he had been in the last several months. Remus always seemed to be so worn out it had always been hard on both James and Lily who thought that Remus received such unfair treatment in the wizarding world because of something he couldn't control. "Morning, Lily. Where was James at out causing trouble no doubt?"

Lily just smiled at Remus and shrugged" I don't know and frankly I don't care he's probably with Sirius somewhere."

Remus looked carefully at Lily it had been a long time since he had heard Lily talk about James in such derogatory terms. What had James done? He and Lily had been so inseparable since they had finally gotten together that this hardly seemed like Lily. What had happened in the months that he had been gone? The last time he had heard anything James and Lily seemed nothing but happy he had just come by this morning to congratulate James and Lily their last letter about their news had finally reached him in hiding. "Lily" he said softly "what's wrong?"

Lily looked at Remus and began to cry "Last night James snuck out and came back drunk with Sirius and he said awful things to me. Then I called Petunia because I just need someone to talk to me and she told me she didn't care and to never call her again."

James heart broke if their was one thing that he loved about Lily it was her ability to love other people unconditionally. He knew that their were only a few relationships in her life that Lily wished could of turned out diffently and the most important one was her relationship with her sister. He knew now it was his entire fault she had called Petunia and she had been awful to Lily. He knew that the other relationship that Lily wished had been different was that of her friendship with Severus Snape although James didn't feel as bad about that relationship. Severus was nothing more then a bad seed and Lily had been blind to see it for along time. Besides his fascination with the dark arts James had always secretly felt that he had feelings for Lily that included something more then friendship. Severus had been very foolish in choosing dark arts over Lily a mistake that James would have never made. Why anyone would find the dark arts so amusing was beyond him torturing and evil hexes were not funny personally he found them rather creepy. He watched as Lily cried into Remus shoulder James couldn't help but feel a tinge of Jealousy. He should be the one with Lily but he knew it was his own fault for being a complete arse.

Remus looked rather uncomfortable he really wished he knew where James was at he had a good mind to disapparate immediately and go see if he could find James and give him a piece of his mind but he knew that Lily really need someone to talk to. Lily sat there for a few minutes and then she tried hard to dry her eyes and she looked at Remus as she tried hard to smile brightly."So where have you been?"

Remus was a bit startled by her question. He shrugged his shoulders and replied"Around"

Lily then looked at him Remus "Those clothes look awful. Why don't you go upstairs and borrow something of James why I clean those."

Remus looked at Lily and shook his head he really didn't like the idea of borrowing from James because he knew to well that borrowing really meant giving him new clothes and if James was home it usually meant finding a few extra gallons hidden in clothes so that Remus would have enough to live on for a while. Although he apperiated his friends kindness he really never liked to be a charity case James had already given him so much by just being his friend and not judging him something so few were willing to do. He looked at Lily and said "Lily I am fine."

Lily eyed Remus and said "no I insist and don't think I am afraid of using a curse to get what I want and why you are upstairs why don't you enjoy a shower judging by your appearance it looks like it's been awhile since you had one."

Remus walked upstairs figuring it was better to listen to Lily then it was to try to fight her. Remus went upstairs and began to search through James cloths to find something to wear. Remus couldn't find much that would work for him finally in the back he found some robes hidden toward the back of the closet it looked like something that probably didn't fit James very well he went to take it figuring James wouldn't care much and Lily would just tell him later when James got back from where ever he was at. Just then he heard some say "Remus, over here I need to talk to you." Remus just smiled and followed the voice to the corner of the room.

"So, James what's going on? Why doesn't Lily seem to know that you are here?" James looked at Remus with a face that Remus knew to well. This face meant that James at messed up with Lily and need help fixing it. Remus looked at James and sighed "What did you do this time?"

James looked at Remus and said "Well I went out with Sirius to town and at the end of the day Sirius suggested we go to the pup for a round at the end of the day and well I got a little tipsy and came back and said things to Lily I shouldn't of."

Remus looked at his friend and wondered what James could have said that would make Lily so upset with him. Remus looked at James and said "What did you say to Lily to make her so mad at you?"

James glanced back at Remus not really wanting to go back over the event of last night again but he sighed and said "I told her that I wasn't happy about the baby."

Remus stared at James not really knowing how to respond to his friend. "James is this really how you feel?"

James sighed " I don't know how to feel right now this whole experience seems so surreal. First there is the war going on while we are too young to do anything about it. Then after years of trying I finally get Lily and then just as all of the piece start to come together for my life to come together for there to be a happily ever after despite all the unhappiness around us. Lily finds out she's pregnant and at first I was so excited but now with this whole prophecy I don't know what to believe any more."

Remus looked at James and thought if I was ever to get someone as wonderful as Lily to love me inspite of my condition. I don't think that would ever mess things up. Remus gazed back at James and said "Have you explained how you feel to Lily yet?"

"No, not yet I really haven't been given much of chance."

"Well I think that the best thing for you to do."

Just then James heard another voice "He's right you know." James turned around to see Lily standing the door way with some food for Remus. He looked at her for just a moment not knowing what to say. Before he could respond he heard a loud pop from Remus disappating. With that James and Lily were left alone in the room.

James just looked at her and said "How much did you hear?"

"Most of what you said I think. James why didn't you tell me you were scared?" Said Lily sitting down on the bed not really sure what to do in this situation because she was still pretty upset with him. James just looked at her and said "I didn't know how to I guess it's the Gryffindor in me always need to be brave."

"James" she said softly "you don't always need to try to impress me with your bravery. Sometimes I just need you to be there for me."

"I know but I really didn't know how I felt about this whole situation until yesterday. I think watching Sirius go of with some girl and seeing how he seems to have no real cares in the world. Made me realize how scared I really am."

Before Lily could reply she fell over. James began to call her name and Lily didn't respond. What was wrong with Lily? James began to panic not knowing what to do. Could he take her to St. Mungo's or not it wasn't really something they had asked Dumbledore about yet. What could he do? He would call Sirius and together they would figure out what to do.

A/N Please read and review. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter.


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